Imagine being in a conversation with a near one and you end up hurting them! Your logic, your reasoning, your observation, your intensity, nothing cuts it. They are hurt, you know you hurt them and you are hurt too. How do you resolve that? How do you make things right? Should you make things right?
In life, when you proceed with intensity on action, it presents you with knowledge and behaviour that unlock success and achievement. As you continue to achieve, your subconscious solidifies those behaviours and you eventually get to an autopilot mode.
In such an act at times, you hurt people in ways that you couldn't imagine. While you don't intend to do it, you end up hurting them with behaviours that are not meant to be exhibited to a near one. Let's take an example of a corporate relationship where you disagree with a client or a colleague but with an objective for the best solution to win.
In an emotional relationship, there are no objectives. Any logical explanation just doesn't cut it. The real reason is that when your mind is chasing an objective goal and it is always in a hurry to get to a conclusion. A real relation doesn't have any conclusion to begin with.
In my introspection, when such an event occurs, it is always best to stay silent and let them talk. No questions, no judgement, no framing, no justification and no attempts to arrive at a conclusion. The more you reason, the further you intensify the emotion and the farther you get away from the core cause of disagreement. Rather ask why they felt the way they do, shut up and listen.
Begin by acknowledging it and get them to express. If it doesn't happen now, you don't need to rush it. Just let it be. When the ripple fades, it does provide a crystal like clarity.
In my introspection, when such an event occurs, it is always best to stay silent and let them talk. No questions, no judgement, no framing, no justification and no attempts to arrive at a conclusion. The more you reason, the further you intensify the emotion and the farther you get away from the core cause of disagreement. Rather ask why they felt the way they do, shut up and listen.
Begin by acknowledging it and get them to express. If it doesn't happen now, you don't need to rush it. Just let it be. When the ripple fades, it does provide a crystal like clarity.
Will the things go back to normal instantly? May be not. Would you get back to being the way you are? May be not. Does this help you reach a different state of emotional connection? Sure, but not at this instance.
Continue to acknowledge the emotion. Drift out of the autopilot mode. If they are hurt, they are hurt.
Heal, don't reason. Hope and don't hover.
Continue to acknowledge the emotion. Drift out of the autopilot mode. If they are hurt, they are hurt.
Heal, don't reason. Hope and don't hover.
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